How Americans Actually Feel About Bombing Syria

Man, I love talking to people on the street. Sure, they say crazy things, but that’s the good part: it reminds me that we’re all human, walking around in our own chemical brain soup, capable of laughing and forming weird thoughts. Living in an overpopulated area, you tend to forget that the things you just want to move out of your way on the sidewalk or on the train are actually people – wonderful, amazing, insane, flawed, living, breathing people.




Crazy New Evidence Palin Was Right About Death Panels

TRANSCRIPT:

Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel was one of the architects of the Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare. He presumes to be interested in preserving life, which is why it seemed outrageous when Sarah Palin accused him of wanting to create death panels. That was him – he was the death-panel guy. But it turns out, Palin might have been more right about Ezekiel’s intentions than the country gave her credit for.

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Accused: US Manufactured Ebola

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The US just pledged $500 million dollars in funding from the Department of Defense to fight Ebola. The US Agency for International Development will also distribute 400,000 protective kits with sanitizer and gloves, primarily in Liberia. So you’d think the Liberians would see the US as a partner in eradicating this terrible, terrifying outbreak. But you’d be wrong. It’s more like they see the US as the CAUSE of Ebola.

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China’s Face-kinis Are Awesome

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Did you know that women in China wear wild face masks to the beach? Dubbed Facekinis, they serve as excellent sun protection in a culture that prizes pale skin as a sign of wealth and beauty.

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Urban Outfitters Shock Market #Fail

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Did you know that Urban Outfitters was selling a Kent State sweatshirt, with fake blood splatter? Kent State’s the American university where four students were shot and killed by soldiers for protesting the US’ war with Vietnam in 1970.

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Animal Compression Suits: The Latest in Animal Humiliation

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Did you know that German company Al Shibla is making a compression suit for racing camels? They just unveiled their plans at the Abu Dhabi International Hunting and Equestrian Exhibition.

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My New Commercial With Matty McConaughey for Lincoln!




Water SOMMELIER Ushers in Bleak, Dystopian Future at Coca-Cola Event

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Did you know that Arno Steguweit is the world’s first water sommelier?

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Obama’s Worst Excuse Ever: OPTICS

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Let’s talk about OPTICS, because that was the word President Obama chose recently, and it encompasses a lot. It started after the golfing incident from hell.

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Hitler’s Childhood Home Becomes “House of Responsibility”

TRANSCRIPT:

Did you know the Austrian house where Hitler was born is being turned into the House of Responsibility, a museum dedicated to Holocaust survivors? Not to be confused with this Welsh house that just looks like Hitler, the House of Responsibility will be another monument to the worst of humanity in a line of many.

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