Animal Compression Suits: The Latest in Animal Humiliation

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Did you know that German company Al Shibla is making a compression suit for racing camels? They just unveiled their plans at the Abu Dhabi International Hunting and Equestrian Exhibition.

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My New Commercial With Matty McConaughey for Lincoln!




Water SOMMELIER Ushers in Bleak, Dystopian Future at Coca-Cola Event

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Did you know that Arno Steguweit is the world’s first water sommelier?

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Obama’s Worst Excuse Ever: OPTICS

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Let’s talk about OPTICS, because that was the word President Obama chose recently, and it encompasses a lot. It started after the golfing incident from hell.

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Hitler’s Childhood Home Becomes “House of Responsibility”

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Did you know the Austrian house where Hitler was born is being turned into the House of Responsibility, a museum dedicated to Holocaust survivors? Not to be confused with this Welsh house that just looks like Hitler, the House of Responsibility will be another monument to the worst of humanity in a line of many.

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CNN Thinks 4chan is a Person

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It’s easy to write off the mainstream media as stupid, but recent blunders made over at CNN are so stupid they’re almost hard to believe. From mistaking websites for people to making ridiculous law enforcement suggestions to blaming weather for asteroids, CNN has done a great job in the past year of illustrating the stereotype of the clueless mainstream media.

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Texting Driver Impaled Through Ass: Asinine Habit

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Did you know that a woman in Colorado was impaled on a pole through her buttocks recently?

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Fort Hood Shooter Wants to Become ISIS Member, Naturally

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In 2009, Nidal Hasan went on a shooting spree in Fort Hood, Texas, that killed 13 people and wounded dozens more. He had been a psychiatrist for the US army. After being convicted of the mass murders, he was sentenced to die. And now, he’s back in the news, because now he is trying to join ISIS.

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World’s Most Annoying Charity Drive Raises More Than $100 Million

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Did you know that millions of people dumped water over their heads this summer to help fight the disease, ALS? All the cool famous people did it!

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How the US Funds and Arms ISIS

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The US trained and armed ISIS, or ISIL, or the Islamic State, or whatever you want to call this new, truly terrifying terrorist faction. For the duration of this story, I’m going to call them ISIS, because why not. So since we first heard of ISIS, fringe news outlets like infowars have been screaming that the US made them. And while that sure sounds like an accusation held together with lots of questions and no answers, others besides conspiracy theorists have arrived at this conclusion. Like the Washington Post. In a recent article, the post outlines very clearly how the US has both trained AND armed ISIS.

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