But I also have used it to showcase people and things I like, too. So this week I thought it was time to show off a new super favorite of mine, writer Neal Stephenson.

A friend had lent me his book, “Snow Crash,” because I had expressed to him the giant black hole in my life at that time, no new good writers for me to explore. About two chapters in, I was hooked.

About a year and a half later, I own every book Mr. Stephenson has written. And they are all supremely dog-eared. Each one is better than the next. Each one has infinite amounts of laughter, wisdom, poetry and hope to offer.

And one is actually 3,000 pages long. If you’ve ever read a 3,000 page book – besides the Bible, get over yourself – then you probably have experienced the kind of grieving sensation I had when finishing Mr. Stephenson’s opus, The Baroque Cycle (which actually spans several books, but is still kind of ONE BOOK). I miss all the characters and their world.

So I thought I’d tell you about this guy, Mr. Neal Stephenson, so that you too can live in that world and make it come alive again.

In all the worlds he creates, actually: go live in them for a while and enjoy. Whether you are a sci-fi nut or a romantic, there is truly something for everyone in his body of work.

Remember when this happened?

Or how about this?

I don’t care either way, even though everyone always tells me I should.

Do you care? Do you think it’s right or wrong to steal stuff off the Internet?

It used to be a lot of fun before everyone in the planet was on it, though. It was a place where you could share little sound bytes of your thoughts with your friends, kind of like a nerdy way to pass notes in school even though you graduated decades ago.

But now it’s filled up with companies like Best Buy and freaing Starbucks that do nothing other than try to sell you crap. Which already sucks.

But soon! Twitter is going to suck even MORE, when Twitter completes the unveiling of their Promoted Tweets ad program. Vomitorium.

No mas fun, Twitter. Watch the video for the full explanation.

So, yeah. We’re all looking for the right person to yell at about this. BP CEO Tony Hayward is an easy target, what with that annoying accent and all. Well OK, his accent MIGHT be charming in some instances, but whilst listening to him rationalize the royal mess-up and make people feel OK about BP again? Just plain ANNOYING. It’s like, shut UP, you aren’t really any smarter than anyone else just because you have that snooty British accent. I mean, come on people, why do you think folks with that accent are better or smarter? They’re not, and I’m sick of people getting credit for that just because…oh…sorry. Tangent!

Gosh, we all just want to blame SOMEONE for this oil spill mess, is my point. But who exactly IS to blame? Watch this week’s video for a little food for thought on THAT one.

I never thought beauty pageants were anything except awful ridiculousness where girls cashed in on their T&A, but I mean come ON – haven’t the scandals of the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA organizations gone too far?

I know these dumb, plastic-boobied girls aren’t really representing our country, bu they SAY they do, and some people out there BELIEVE this crock. Little girls, even. Aren’t we pushing this too far?

If Mr. Trump, who owns the stupid pageant, wants to rebrand Miss USA as something “hip” or SpikeTV-ish, fine, go for it. But we really need to drop all the other pretense, then. You can’t pretend these girls are humanitarians anymore, Donald, when they are caught with their legs wrapped around poles or with their nostrils rimmed with coke. If you are going to rebrand this dead horse, then please revamp all facets. Including all the stuff that says these girls are exemplary of anything but nice-looking idiotic loose ladies.

I don’t know her personally; maybe she is a nice girl. And given the fact that many of my friends are dark-haired girls who went to NYU, there’s a chance I would get along with her just fine.

I don’t know the (ahem) breadth of her music, either. I only know the ridiculous dance songs she’s made that stores and radio stations seem to play nonstop.

The little I do know, though, I don’t like. Maybe it’s because I’ve been on this planet long enough to not be sold this old bill of goods. In my lifetime, I’ve already seen enough fame-driven < ahref=twitter.com/parishilton>humans profess to be artists and try to shock people into buying their shitty “art.” This is what this Lady is doing, thus rendering her shocking tactics as anything BUT shocking in my book.

It’s not even the fame-driven part that bugs me – to each their own – it’s the posing as goddam ARTISTS that drives me nuts.

Crazy clothing and hats?!?!?!?! Sexual rumors?!?! Uh….even crazier hats?!?!?! I’m shocked! OK not really.

The only thing shocking about this Lady is that anyone is actually buying this old hat of a routine.

Aside from disliking the stupid “shocking” routine, I also dislike the stupid music. It is awful from all sides. The music, the lyrics, the over-production – it’s just awful. It’s the same pop crap with more effects. And embarrassingly juvenile lyrics.

So…it’s not that I don’t like Stefani Germanotta, it’s that I don’t like the contrived marketing ploy that is Lady Gaga. More than anything, it’s the stupidity that she puts out there in the name of art.

Hence, Missy Maw Maw. Enjoy.

Boy, did THEY have different answers! So kiddies, there was a BIG BIG lesson to be learned at the Webutante Ball last night – if you use the Internet right, it is your friend. If you use it to be a web-celebrity and nothing else, you might just want to change your name and move.

NOTE: I really like Julia. I don’t really know any of her work, but she was totally sweet, and she is also friends with my girl Meghan Asha, so when I imply that she has used the Internet in a way that has ruined her life, I am only going on what she is, indeed, famous for: being famous for nothing. Honestly, she seemed just like a really sweet and pretty girl to me.

No reason. That’s why.

So, please to enjoy the very awesome food vendors of Red Hook, Brooklyn. If you live in New York City, do yourself a favor and wander on down there one Saturday or Sunday afternoon. If you need help finding them, just follow the signs for the godforsaken Ikea, and you won’t be able to miss them.

And after you’ve stuffed yourselves on papusas, you can buy yourself some cheap Swedish particle-board based furniture! Only in New York, people, only in MF New York!