The Resident - Hosted by Lori Harfenist » Funny Videos

Introducing Missy Maw Maw

TheResident — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 13:04:35 +0000

Hey, guess what? I don’t like Lady Gaga. Well, that’s not entirely correct: it’s not that I don’t like her, it’s that I don’t think she is deserving of the attention she is getting/amount of music she is selling.

I don’t know her personally; maybe she is a nice girl. And given the fact that many of my friends are dark-haired girls who went to NYU, there’s a chance I would get along with her just fine.

I don’t know the (ahem) breadth of her music, either. I only know the ridiculous dance songs she’s made that stores and radio stations seem to play nonstop.

The little I do know, though, I don’t like. Maybe it’s because I’ve been on this planet long enough to not be sold this old bill of goods. In my lifetime, I’ve already seen enough fame-driven < ahref=twitter.com/parishilton>humans profess to be artists and try to shock people into buying their shitty “art.” This is what this Lady is doing, thus rendering her shocking tactics as anything BUT shocking in my book.

It’s not even the fame-driven part that bugs me – to each their own – it’s the posing as goddam ARTISTS that drives me nuts.

Crazy clothing and hats?!?!?!?! Sexual rumors?!?! Uh….even crazier hats?!?!?! I’m shocked! OK not really.

The only thing shocking about this Lady is that anyone is actually buying this old hat of a routine.

Aside from disliking the stupid “shocking” routine, I also dislike the stupid music. It is awful from all sides. The music, the lyrics, the over-production – it’s just awful. It’s the same pop crap with more effects. And embarrassingly juvenile lyrics.

So…it’s not that I don’t like Stefani Germanotta, it’s that I don’t like the contrived marketing ploy that is Lady Gaga. More than anything, it’s the stupidity that she puts out there in the name of art.

Hence, Missy Maw Maw. Enjoy.

10 Years of Video: Happy Anniversary, Me!

TheResident — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:05:05 +0000

Web video might be all the rage now, but I’ve been doing it for TEN YEARS. I know – I’m as amazed as you! I first hit the streets in January in the year 2000, and my very first bit was asking people what an mp3 was. AND MOST PEOPLE DIDN’T KNOW. I did it for a company I was working for at the time, and after I did it I just knew that I had found the thing I wanted to do for my career.

So, to commemorate this anniversary, this decade-long career I’ve had now that’s put me on TV and across the web and into lots and lots of awesome fun situations, I thought I’d release one of my very-old classics. This one is entitled, “Free Gum,” and it showcases how my first pieces were all about cleaning up New York City.

It also showcases a really awesome hairdo that I sported at the time. For about 2 or 3 years, I put my hair through the wringer, coloring it every shade in the Benjamin Moore iPhone App. To accomplish this, I had to bleach the crap out of my hair first, then put on some Manic Panic. It was a an arduous, stinky process, and one that I’m lucky to have had some hairs survive. I should be bald for all I put my hair through!

Aside from the funky hairdos, the best thing about looking through some of my older stuff for the anniversary episode has been seeing what I chose to cover on my own, before I had clients to answer to, before I was interested in what was going on in the world, in politics, or in pop culture. I just wanted to cover what annoyed me on a day-to-day basis.

It was extremely cathartic. And I think it’s good for me to remember why I started doing this in the first place: to poke fun at stuff that pisses me off. That’s what I’m good at, that’s why I started doing this weird job, and that’s something I should remember whenever it’s time to decide what to cover. It’s also good for me to remember to never, ever put my poor hair through all that chemical processing again.

Thanks for tuning in all these years, you guys! And Happy Anniversary to meeeeeeee.

Viva La Resolutions!

TheResident — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 12:02:24 +0000

Man, do I HATE New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t need to tell you why, though, right? I mean, you KNOW it’s because it’s very dull to make a promise to change your lousy behavior just because of our arbitrary calendar, and it’s even duller of you to believe you will actually STICK to it. Clearly, if you mean to change your behavior, you should do it for you, on a day that makes sense for your lifestyle, and you should probably not broadcast it drunkenly at a New Year’s Eve party, because all of those things might help you actually make a positive change in your life. I’ve railed about the stupidity of these New Year’s resolutions before. So this year I just figured I’d go along with it and make some really stupid resolutions. This year, I just didn’t feel like fighting, I felt like laughing it off. So maybe my REAL resolution is to follow my instincts more often and do what I FEEL like doing instead of doing what I think people expect me to do. Wait. That sounded like a REAL resolution. Nevermind! Happy New Year, everyone!

Dave Hill: The Definitive Interview

TheResident — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:25:32 +0000

I had the pleasure of sitting down for an interview with Mr. Dave Hill recently. He rules. You can check him out here. Special thanks to Lucky 13 for allowing us to drink and shoot in their fine establishment. He’s my favorite person to follow on Twitter, too!

Listen to what others have to say about Dave: “Whether he’s interviewing a pet psychic or Jimmy Kimmel, Hill usually manages to derail the conversation to his own insecurities with hilariously uncomfortable results.” -Variety Magazine “Brilliant.”-New York Magazine “Hill’s loose jabs and affable, nice-guy demeanor are what make his gently absurdist comedy so enjoyable.” -The Onion “I saw a great young guy last night named Dave Hill who is really funny.”-Robin Williams, MoviesOnline.ca “Hill’s deadpan delivery as a talk show host who has severely overestimated his own coolness is priceless.” -AM New York “Dave Hill’s talk show is like being on an acid trip with a gentle bunny and Joe Franklin.”-Time Out New York “Like watching a self-important teenager strut around his bedroom, a fantasy world of his own fame complete with nunchucks and all that is ‘totally sweet’.”-The Aspen Times “Thanks to his quirky humor and knack for attention-getting, Dave Hill has shot to the top in a surprisingly short period of time.” -Time Out New York “Dave Hill needs an introduction — but not for long.”-L.A. Weekly

Stand-Up Comedy

TheResident — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 19:52:03 +0000

For some reason, I was asked to participate in this year’s New York’s Funniest Reporter contest, and for some reason I AGREED TO DO IT. I’ve never done stand up in my life! But by watching this video, you’d never know it. I mean, I’m a total PRO! Just listen to those finely-tuned punchlines! Watch me work the crowd like nobody’s business! I’m amazing up there, for crying out loud! You can’t even TELL that my act was going to be a dance routine to a song, and that after the show had already started and ten minutes before I was to go on, the event organizer came and whispered in my ear that they couldn’t get my music to play so I had to go onstage in ten minutes WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PREPARED. You totally can’t even TELL that’s the case! Because I am so freaking funny. What’s NOT funny, though, is that the judges GYPPED me and did NOT award me the prize. LAME. I was by far the funniest thing to hit Comic Strip Live. Ever. ROBBED. See for yourself just how hilarious my stand-up act is in this video!

Kill This Trend

TheResident — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:13:34 +0000

t’s been a while since I covered just a flat-out annoying trend, and a verbal one at that. And there is a new one on the scene that just about kills me, so here you go: a new I-hate-this-trend video for you to enjoy. The worst part about it for me is how indicative it is of just how self-entitled, whiny, and bitchy our culture has become. It’s…SOFT. There’s no valor or pride or hold-your-chin-highness about it. It’s just dismissive and smarmy and lousy, and I hate it. I’ll just let you watch to learn what it is. Go ahead, I’ll wait. You watch it yet? Ok good. Now, tell me: have you heard people use this? Has anyone ever used it AGAINST you? How did it make you feel? For me, it made me feel like smacking the offenders, the users of this trend, upside the head. Because it’s just such a rotten attitude, such a rotten stance to take. I’m just saying. However, the trendy saying probably IS going to get absorbed into our cultural collective mind and we’ll all be saying it with grins and just accepting it as the vernacular, without even noticing how dismissive it is. We’ll all be saying it and hearing it so much that we won’t even notice how we all just died a little, culturally speaking. That’s just how these things roll, it seems. I guess I’m saying this little video is probably a futile effort. But, you know me – I’ll keep fighting the good fight, even when I know it’s a losing battle. And you? I thank you, for listening, even just a little – and I’ll forgive us all when we just starting saying this lousy trendy saying, because that’s the way this cultural cookie usually crumbles.

Monetary Stupefaction

TheResident — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 22:40:55 +0000

I just read this article online, and it reminded me how annoying our culture can be. Rose Hoare from Stuff.Co.Nz writes: Madonna and Gucci on the United Nations’ lawn. Backstreet Boys’ Kevin Richardson and Elmo on Capitol Hill. Lionel Richie, Angelina Jolie, Sharon Stone at the World Economic Forum. Some of the world’s most troubled places and august institutions have welcomed some of the world’s dumbest, most insufferable entertainers, and one English columnist is saying “stop the madness”. Marina Hyde writes weekly columns on sport, politics and celebrity for the Guardian. Before that she worked on the Sun’s showbiz desk and before that studied English at Oxford. Although she writes about it, she says she avoids sites and magazines that carry anonymously sourced gossip or paparazzi shots. She manages to find enough material for her thrice-weekly columns from things celebrities have said on the record. In her new book, Celebrity: How Entertainers Took Over the World and Why We Need an Exit Strategy, she collects some of the most egregious examples of celebrity power-tripping. The cumulative effect is ugly. On the phone from London, she says, “It’s a slightly worrying indictment of how far we’ve let entertainers inveigle themselves into places they perhaps shouldn’t be at all.” They fill gaps in conversations quite nicely, but who really cares what celebrities do or say? The United Nations and a few world governments. “Some celebrities say reasonable things,” says Hyde, “but I think they should stick to their day job and be entertainers because I don’t think they’re expert in any other field. “I should say that I love premieres and parties and scandals and all those funny things you read about that’s fine, that’s celebrities in their place. “When they become very famous, I think a lot of people thought that they would be very satisfied by their career. But then they aren’t satisfied and they suddenly decide they want to be public intellectuals as well. They want to be taken seriously, they want gravitas, they want people to see them as amazing in another field. They feel they’re not taken seriously just for being an actress.”

Chalupa the Clown’s Ringling Brother’s Audition

TheResident — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:54:15 +0000

So, I know this amazingly talented clown named Chalupa. She’s been hard at work, perfecting her craft of being a clown, for about 40 years now. When I heard that Ringling Brothers were holding clown auditions, I told her immediately to go try out. So, she did. And of course, being the great clown correspondent that she is, she talked to other clown hopefuls and Ringling’s Talent Manager about what it takes to be a good clown and why some people might choose the circus as a lifestyle. The best thing she learned was that the circus really does travel the country on a train! Did you know that madness? I certainly didn’t. Anyway, you can watch Chalupa’s well rehearsed, heartfelt audition in this funny video. I think she should get a callback, don’t you?

Deep Thoughts

TheResident — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:52:32 +0000

So, for you young-uns out there who might not know this, there used to be a recurring segment on Saturday Night Live called “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.” If you’ve never heard of them, look them up, as they are hilarious. And if you have heard of them or had the pleasure of watching them air, look them up, as they are hilarious still. Basically, it was a man’s voice-over stating some ridiculous thought, like, If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, it they screamed all the time, for no good reason. – They were always really funny and a bit twisted, which naturally appealed to me. So, the other day, I was reading some tweets by Ashton Kutcher, I kid you not, just to see what that lucky sonofabitch thought he should tweet about. I was surprised to see a lot of his Kabbala-isms infused into his tweets. Some of them were actually interesting and thought-provoking, but most of them just pissed me off. Let’s face it, Ashton might be really, really hard-working, and he might have business and on-camera talents, but the guy is extremely lucky. And I hate lucky people trying to tell me how deep they are or alluding to their inner core being responsible for their success. I mean, I just wanted to read one tweet from him that said something like, damn, I’m so glad I have this mug and this physical appearance! I sure got lucky and cashed in on it, right? Because if he did that, just once, his surprisingly interesting and deep tweets would actually hold more meaning. Just my two cents. Whatever, who cares, we’re talking about Ashton Kutcher, right? Anyway, as these thoughts were swirling through my head, I started having a few deep thoughts of my own, and that reminded me of the Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy segments, and, well, this Vlog was born. Enjoy. It’s not as funny a video as the real Deep Thoughts, because I really mean these thoughts. I just thought I’d still give a shout-out to the real funny videos in the title. Enjoy, people.

Recession, Schmeescmession!

TheResident — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:36:14 +0000

Before I begin, let me just say that I have a lot of sympathy for people who have been directly affected by the economic crisis, into which the whole people who have been directly affected by the economic crisis, into which the whole world seems to have plummeted. I myself am feeling the pinch, surely, though I haven’t had to stand in, and have yet to even see, a breadline. But I know the worry and the heartache is very real, and to everyone truly suffering I have this to say: I’m really sorry and I hope we can all rest more easily soon. So yes, as I said, I myself have started to feel the pinch. My clients come and go like crazy, and they go more than they come these days. However. HOWEVER. I am SICK of the media pumping us so full of RECESSION MADNESS! They might not be saying the word depression yet, but the media’s 24/7 recession coverage is really getting DEPRESSING. I’m sick of seeing commercials and subway ads and TV shows and news reports and newspapers (ok, I haven’t looked at any of them, who does? that’s why they’re going to be the first to go…) telling me how AWFUL the world is right now and how terrified I should be and how there is no hope it’s only going to get worse who knows where the bottom is another company is about to fold….SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU MEDIA! Because the truth of the matter is, you are only making it WORSE. To the point where I’m ALL-CAPPING every other word! Because I’m SICK OF THE MEDIA LOVING THIS RECESSION TO DEATH! So annoying. Again. You MEDIA. You LIFE-SUCKING, SOUL-KILLING lot of you. (Crickets). Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, so this week I decided I’d have a little fun and talk about some GOOD things I see coming out of the recession. Why don’t you join me and tell me some possible good, fun things that might come out of this economic situation the globe has found itself in? It’s more fun that what the MEDIA is doing, and it’s really more helpful. I think. You think?