I don’t care either way, even though everyone always tells me I should.

Do you care? Do you think it’s right or wrong to steal stuff off the Internet?

So, yeah. We’re all looking for the right person to yell at about this. BP CEO Tony Hayward is an easy target, what with that annoying accent and all. Well OK, his accent MIGHT be charming in some instances, but whilst listening to him rationalize the royal mess-up and make people feel OK about BP again? Just plain ANNOYING. It’s like, shut UP, you aren’t really any smarter than anyone else just because you have that snooty British accent. I mean, come on people, why do you think folks with that accent are better or smarter? They’re not, and I’m sick of people getting credit for that just because…oh…sorry. Tangent!

Gosh, we all just want to blame SOMEONE for this oil spill mess, is my point. But who exactly IS to blame? Watch this week’s video for a little food for thought on THAT one.

I never thought beauty pageants were anything except awful ridiculousness where girls cashed in on their T&A, but I mean come ON – haven’t the scandals of the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA organizations gone too far?

I know these dumb, plastic-boobied girls aren’t really representing our country, bu they SAY they do, and some people out there BELIEVE this crock. Little girls, even. Aren’t we pushing this too far?

If Mr. Trump, who owns the stupid pageant, wants to rebrand Miss USA as something “hip” or SpikeTV-ish, fine, go for it. But we really need to drop all the other pretense, then. You can’t pretend these girls are humanitarians anymore, Donald, when they are caught with their legs wrapped around poles or with their nostrils rimmed with coke. If you are going to rebrand this dead horse, then please revamp all facets. Including all the stuff that says these girls are exemplary of anything but nice-looking idiotic loose ladies.

Boy, did THEY have different answers! So kiddies, there was a BIG BIG lesson to be learned at the Webutante Ball last night – if you use the Internet right, it is your friend. If you use it to be a web-celebrity and nothing else, you might just want to change your name and move.

NOTE: I really like Julia. I don’t really know any of her work, but she was totally sweet, and she is also friends with my girl Meghan Asha, so when I imply that she has used the Internet in a way that has ruined her life, I am only going on what she is, indeed, famous for: being famous for nothing. Honestly, she seemed just like a really sweet and pretty girl to me.

I mean, I could get a LOT more views if I wore lower-cut shirts, used stills of me eating a banana on YouTube, or other cheap tricks.

But I refrain from those things even though I know they’d bring me money, because I prefer to think I actually have something to say – that I actually am doing something other than hunting for fame and fortune.

I could be dead wrong on that, BTW. But still.

But this 15-minute breed – that’s ALL they want. Fame and fortune at any cost. The question is, why? Why is this their goal? How did we in society come to value fame sooo much that we have people willing to be the butt of every joke just so they can be in US Magazine?

I don’t get it. Unfortunately, though, I think it’s only going to get worse.

Honestly? I thought it would be the guy from the Mac Support Store, some nice Park Slope resident whose kid goes to PS10, and me, with a lot of silence. I was incredibly amazed to watch as tons of people came by with old computers, phones, tape recorders, video games…just tons and tons of old electronics, all to be picked up and recycled by ERevival.

I brought a few items to recycle myself, which made me feel good, I admit. But what really made me feel good was seeing so many people participate. It made this cynical human feel better. So before you plop that old PC tower on the curb, take a peek at the ERevival website to see if you can do better than that.

Partnering with Greenopolis, The Entrepreneurship Bootcamp for Veterans (EBV), and Waste Management, they’ve built what they’re calling the Dream Machine and what I’m calling just plain common sense. Basically, it’s a recycling receptacle that’ll be placed around urban areas, ball fields, super markets, etc. – places where people finish beverages and end up tossing out the container since there is no recycling receptacle available.

I live in New York City, where there are exactly zero public recycling receptacles, so I think the Dream Machine is a very welcome, excellent thing. And the fact that proceeds benefit veterans AND the environment is an added bonus. As an added incentive for the public to use it, Pepsi offers a reward-point system, so whenever you do drop a bottle in the machine, you can earn points to a little something for yourself.

So, going to the unveiling of the Dream Machine was a great way to celebrate Earth Day, I think. PS I also got to meet Aisha Tyler, which for any Soup fan is a good, good thing.

But I thought I should take a minute out of my busy schedule to turn that pointed finger around and aim it right at myself. Because, you see, I am guilty of a lot of the crap that drives me nuts.

I totally visit TMZ. I don’t do it regularly – probably once or twice a month when my brain really needs to turn to mush for a bit. I tune in, even though I very well KNOW they’re the devil.

I think the bottom line is that sometimes it’s just really hard being human and not giving in to all the temptations our lousy culture offers up.

Our advertisers, corporations, and all the media all just keep pumping out such frivolous crap for us to consume. It’s really hard to just say no, all the time. Sometimes you just HAVE to give in.

And sometimes I do, which makes me a hypocrite. With a pipe organ and a green screen studio. So, please to enjoy this week’s offerings, and please feel free to tell me what you think in the lovely social commentary place below.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have jeggings. UGH. So dumb.

To illustrate how silly some current trends will seem in the future, I decided to go way, way back in time to talk about a bizarre fashion trend: black patches. These were around in the 1600 and 1700s in Europe. People glued patches of black fabric on their faces, mainly to cover awful smallpox scars. Having been a zitty teen, I can appreciate wanting to cover nasty scarring. But – gluing crap to my face? Now that’s just silly.

Much like jeggings are. And if you don’t realize that now, you will in a decade or so.

The key is to be able to decifer what trends will look stupid in a few years, and what new innovations in fashion are actually, well, innovations that will stand the test of time.

This is not a talent that hipsters have. So, like we did with smallpox, we must find a cure for the heinous hipster disease. Soon, please!