China’s Face-kinis Are Awesome

TRANSCRIPT:

Did you know that women in China wear wild face masks to the beach? Dubbed Facekinis, they serve as excellent sun protection in a culture that prizes pale skin as a sign of wealth and beauty.

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Urban Outfitters Shock Market #Fail

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Did you know that Urban Outfitters was selling a Kent State sweatshirt, with fake blood splatter? Kent State’s the American university where four students were shot and killed by soldiers for protesting the US’ war with Vietnam in 1970.

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Animal Compression Suits: The Latest in Animal Humiliation

TRANSCRIPT:

Did you know that German company Al Shibla is making a compression suit for racing camels? They just unveiled their plans at the Abu Dhabi International Hunting and Equestrian Exhibition.

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My New Commercial With Matty McConaughey for Lincoln!




Water SOMMELIER Ushers in Bleak, Dystopian Future at Coca-Cola Event

TRANSCRIPT:

Did you know that Arno Steguweit is the world’s first water sommelier?

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Obama’s Worst Excuse Ever: OPTICS

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Let’s talk about OPTICS, because that was the word President Obama chose recently, and it encompasses a lot. It started after the golfing incident from hell.

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Hitler’s Childhood Home Becomes “House of Responsibility”

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Did you know the Austrian house where Hitler was born is being turned into the House of Responsibility, a museum dedicated to Holocaust survivors? Not to be confused with this Welsh house that just looks like Hitler, the House of Responsibility will be another monument to the worst of humanity in a line of many.

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CNN Thinks 4chan is a Person

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It’s easy to write off the mainstream media as stupid, but recent blunders made over at CNN are so stupid they’re almost hard to believe. From mistaking websites for people to making ridiculous law enforcement suggestions to blaming weather for asteroids, CNN has done a great job in the past year of illustrating the stereotype of the clueless mainstream media.

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Texting Driver Impaled Through Ass: Asinine Habit

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Did you know that a woman in Colorado was impaled on a pole through her buttocks recently?

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Fort Hood Shooter Wants to Become ISIS Member, Naturally

TRANSCRIPT:

In 2009, Nidal Hasan went on a shooting spree in Fort Hood, Texas, that killed 13 people and wounded dozens more. He had been a psychiatrist for the US army. After being convicted of the mass murders, he was sentenced to die. And now, he’s back in the news, because now he is trying to join ISIS.

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